Jokes for April 13th

I didn’t have the chance to come up with any new jokes, so I thought I’d dust off a few classic jokes, enjoy!

 

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What kind of bed do berries like best?

Straw.

 

What did the criminal turned baseball player say after he bought a house?

“I’ll never steal home again!”

  

 Why do baseball pitchers make excellent bowlers?

Because they know how to throw strikes.

  

Why did the omelet refuse to pitch at a certain ballpark?

The fans were always egging him on. 

 

Why do pack rats make excellent pinch runners?

They are always stealing. 

  

Why did the prospector never go hungry?

There was always something in his pans. 

 

How do mechanics fry their French fries?

In an oil pan. 

  

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I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

Jokes for April 6th

It’s Thursday night again, but much more importantly is the fact that it’s the first week of baseball season! Enjoy these baseball jokes.

 

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Why was the golfer banned from being a ball boy?

Because he kept getting a hole in one.

  

Why did the chef quit the team?

He couldn’t cut the mustard.

 

Why did the baseball team sign a knitter?

They needed a more good mitts.

 

Why did the baseball manager hire the lemonade as a scout?

Because it had found a good pitcher.

 

Was the vampire hunter bet concerned about the baseball season opener?

Of course, he had quite a stake in it.

  

Why did the frog watch the baseball game?

He had always dreamed of being a catcher.

 

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I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

Jokes for March 30th

It’s been a quick week, but I managed to coke up with three jokes for you tonight, enjoy!

 

What did the farmer say when he forgot to sell his banana crop?

He said he slipped up.

 

What did the farmer say about the outlook for his orchard?

Everything was peachy.

 

Why did the avocado farmer want to build a house from avocado seeds?

He wanted to say he lived in the pits.

 

Thanks for reading!

Jokes for March 16th

It’s time for jokes and it’s almost St. Patrick’s day, enjoy these jokes!

 

 

What did the taxi driver do when a passenger told him his taxi was old.

He shrugged and said “Cabbage.”

 

What game does St. Patrick refuse to play?

Snake.

 

Why did the farmer feed his cows nothing but maize?

He wanted some corned beef.

 

 I hope you enjoyed thiese jokes! Thanks for reading!

Jokes for March 9th

It’s Thursday night again, that means it’s time for some jokes! I hope you enjoy, I tried to find something that would appeal to everyone.

 

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Why did the bell offer to make a fruit salad?

Because it was good at peeling.

 

Why did the chef complain that he felt like a bell?

Because he had been peeling all day.

 

What did people say about the desert the chef made in the shape of a bell?

It was a-pealing.

 

What happened when the banana ran into the bell?

It peeled.

 

When the clockmaker ran out of chimes, he put an orange in his new clock, he hoped that it would let out a peel when struck.

 

Why did the bell like apples instead of strawberries?

They had a good peel.

 

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I hope these jokes made you laugh. Thanks for reading!

Jokes for March 3rd

It’s Friday night, time for Thursday night jokes, sorry for the delay.

 

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Why did the chef win an Oscar?

It was for something he whipped up.

 

Why did the chef become an inventor?

He enjoyed whipping up new things.

 

How did the chef get enough money to build a new restaurant?

He buttered up an investor during a toast.

 

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Thanks for reading, I hope to be back on schedule next week.

Jokes for February 23rd

It’s Thursday night, which means that tomorrow is Friday. Who is ready for the weekend?

 Anyway, I hope you enjoy these jokes tonight.

 

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What day of the week is a chef’s favorite day?

Fry-day

 

What day of the week do potatoes hate the most?

Friday

 

Why does ice cream enjoy Fridays?

Because it’s not a sundae.

 

Was the egg roll happy it was Monday?

Yes, it was over the moon happy that it wasn’t Friday.

 

Which day of the week is the best day to make fritters?

Friday.

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I hope these jokes made you out chuckle, or at least made you want some French fries.

Thanks for reading!

Jokes for February 9th

It’s been another quick week, hasn’t it? I have few few jokes for you tonight, enjoy!

 

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What did the cat think when the chef started performing Shakespeare?

He was hamletting it up.

 

What is a beekeeper’s favorite line from hamlet?

To be or not to be.

 

When are flowers like Shakespearian play?

When there are two bees.

 

Why do hockey players enjoy Shakespeare’s play, A midsummers night dream?

They like anything with a puck in it.

 

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I didn’t promise that they’d be good jokes, but I do hope that they made you chuckle at least.

 Thanks for reading!

Jokes for February 2nd: a few classics

It seems like it’s been a quick past two weeks, unfortunately I haven’t come up with any new jokes, so instead I thought I’d share a few old jokes that you might not remember, enjoy!

 

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A man walked into a truck stop and ordered a hamburger, and as an after thought he added “Hold the pickle.”

 A few moments later, Harry, the truck stop’s harried short order chef whose was very hairy, came marching out on the kitchen and thrust a dripping cucumber into the man’s hand, saying “Hold your own pickle!”

 

Jack went to a taco joint south of the border for Lunch, after he had eaten he noticed a rabbi, a cardinal and a cleric making something together behind the counter, curious he asked the proprietor, Jose.

 Jose opened his mouth to reply, but a ninja fell from the ceiling, pressed a dirk to Jose’s throat and asked what he wanted on his tombstone.

 Being a person who always answered any questions asked him, and knowing that he had only one more chance to speak before he died, answered both questions at one by saying “Holy guacamole!”

 Jose was astounded when the ninja laughed, handed him an avocado pizza and left peacefully.

 

A woman was arrested after buying a jar of sodium and a portable power pack, she was charged with a salt and battery.

 

A famous sport star past his prime recently put his house up for sale, when the real estate agent asked why, he pointed to the ceiling and said “My fans don’t like me anymore.”

 

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Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this classic jokes.

Humor for Thursday, January 26th

I only have a few jokes for you tonight, I think they are funny, but, of course, personal opinion may vary.

 I hope you enjoy!

 

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How did the carpenter keep his fasteners sharp?

He used a nail file.

 

How did the manicurist keep track of her clients?

She used a nail file. 

 

Why did the farmer build a house in the middle of his dwarf grain field?

Because he enjoyed a short kamut 

 

What kind of tablet do sailors prefer?

An aye-pad

 

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 I hope you enjoyed these jokes, I’ll have more next week.

Thanks for reading!