Tonight I have decided to treat you to some of the jokes I’ve posted over the past several month, I hope you enjoy these jokes again.
A city slicker was visiting a farm, he asked the farmer how things were growing,the farmer said everything was. Coming up roses. The city slicker congratulation end the farm, to which the farmer said “Thing is, I planted beets.”
A paranoid rich man died, he left instructions that only a laughing ghost talker could manage to tell his hires where his will was. After several months of searching, the courts reluctantly admitted that they couldn’t find a happy medium.
A man walked into a truck stop and ordered a hamburger, ad an after thought he added “Hold the pickle.”
A few moments later, Harry, the truck stop’s harried short order chef whose was very hairy, came marching out on the kitchen and thrust a dripping cucumber into the man’s hand, saying “Hold your own pickle!”
Jack went to a taco joint south of the border for Lunch, after he had eaten he noticed a rabbi, a cardinal and a cleric making something together behind the counter, curious he asked the proprietor, Jose.
Jose opened his mouth to reply, but a ninja fell from the ceiling, pressed a dirk to Jose’s throat and asked what he wanted on his tombstone.
Being a person who always answered any questions asked him, and knowing that he had only one more chance to speak before he died, answered both questions at one by saying “Holy guacamole!”
Jose was astounded when the ninja laughed, handed him an avocado pizza and left peacefully.
Did you hear about the nut factory in the war zone? It got shelled.
What happened when the salad saw the peanut dressing? It was shell shocked!
Three nuts run into a bar in Nevada, they were arrested on suspicion of running a shell game.
A doctor went skydiving. While his parachute deployed perfectly, a gust of wind forced him off course. A few weeks later he was found nearly starved to death in the middle of an orchard. When asked why he hadn’t just picked some fruit to eat, he explained that he had spent those weeks surrounded by apples, proving once again, apples keep doctors away.
Thanks for reading, I’ll have a few new jokes next week.