It’s fall?

It’s fall? How did that happen?

 This has been a quick year and not a very good year for my blog, I’ve missed too many posts, but I’m planning on getting back on track soon. I’m going to do my best not to trip up this fall.

I’m going to try to ease back into blogging over the next few weeks. You can look forward to a few new jokes and a few other interesting posts over the coming weeks.

Thanks for sticking with my blog even with the lack of posts.

How cats see the Olympics 

Now that the Olympics are beginning to wind down, you might be getting sick and tired of them, but do you know how your cat sees them? Read on to find out:

 

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Sprint: I can run faster in my sleep.

 

Golf: Mark Twain once said golf is a good walk ruined, I say golf is a good sleep to watch.

 

 Swimming: Humans are fools, who wants to get wet? They probably stay out in the rain too.

 

Volleyball: I can do the same thing with a mouse, now who deserves a gold medal?

 

Gymnastics: Now that’s a sport! Now if they would just do it with a mouse in their mouths.

 

Wrestling: ehh, I can do better, want to try me?

 

Soccer: same as volleyball, I’d do it with a mouse and on stairs.

 

Discus: they give medals for dog owners now? What’s next? Synchronized fish feeding?

 

High jump: not bad, but I can jump higher, just give me a reason to.

 

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While there are many other sports in the Olympics, these are the only ones I was able to get answers from a cat before he returned to watching golf.

Thanks for reading!

Shakespeare quotes updated for the Rio Olympics

Ever wonder what Shakespeare would have said about this years Olympics? I have the answer.

 

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To bees or not two bees, that is the question… The answer is no, those are two Zika carrying misquotes!

  

Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him so well… Unless he was doping, in that case I never met the guy.

  

Better three hours too soon than a minute late… Unless you show up at the wrong event.

 

The lady doth protest too much, methinks, there be steroids in the air!

  

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark… Luckily we’re in Rio.

  

ll that glisters is not gold, there are silver medals too.

  

Now is the winter of our discontent in Rio, though these are the Summer games, geography is odd that way.

  

Tempt not a desperate man, lest a whole country gets banned for doping.

  

A man can die but once, but he can miss out on a gold medal many times.

    

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 I hope you enjoyed these updated quotes. Thanks for reading!

Two jokes for August 3rd

It’s Wednesday night again, it’s been another quick week so far, but I managed to come up with too jokes for you, enjoy!

 

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What did the citrus fruit promise when he ran for office?

Lemonade.

  

What does a citrus fruit need when its injured?

Lemon-aid.

 

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I hope you enjoyed the jokes tonight, thanks for reading!

Food Mash Up: Banana Split Ice Cream Sanwich

Tonight I’m doing something a bit different for a Food Mash Up, normally I combined two foods that are not normally thought of together, instead of that, tonight I’m going to make it easier for those of you who have a hard time choosing between an Ice Cream Sandwich and a Banana Split, enjoy!

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Banana Split Ice Cream Sandwich

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We have two radically different desserts here to combine:

 

Banana Split: A concoction of a banana sliced in half, placed in a dish and covered with ice cream, chocolate sauce and topped with a maraschino cherry.

Ice Cream Sandwich: Two cookies placed around a slab of ice cream, which allows for a spoon free, yet not as messy way to enjoy ice cream.

 

The key is to stay as true to each as possible, while incorporating the best part of each. This is a lot easier than might be expected. There are several other attempts at creating such a delight, but the ones I’ve seen all miss the point of being self contained.

The history of each of these items are blurred to say the least, no one knows who exactly invented either dessert, but suffice to say they are both well loved.

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What you need:

Bananas – sliced the easy way (into circles)

Ice cream -softened but not melted

Large ice cream sandwich cookies – the lager the better.

Maraschino cherries – optional – chopped

Shredded coconut

Good quality chocolate bar – grated

Whipped cream -optional-

Melted chocolate, beginning to cool.

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Building a better sandwich:

 

Take one cookie and put a thin coating of ice cream on it, maybe 1/4″ thick, depending on how thick you want the final sandwich to be.

After spreading your ice cream, place a layer of sliced banana on it, make sure to squeeze as many slices as possible on it without too much over lapping. Next spread another thin layer of ice cream over the bananas, being careful to cover all the bananas.

On top of the second layer of ice cream, sprinkle your coconut and chocolate, you want to make sure there is enough of each, however do not cover all of your ice cream, other wise your sandwich may not stay in one piece.

Add a third layer of ice cream. On top of your third layer of ice cream, add your chopped maraschino cherries, again making sure not to cover quite all of the ice cream below.

Add a fourth layer of ice cream or use whipped cream if you’d prefer, top with another cookie.

Freeze the banana spit sandwich until firm, then dip the edges in the melted chocolate and refreeze for half an hour and enjoy.

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There you have it, a new treat for a hot summer day, I hope you enjoyed this post.

Thanks for reading!

Jokes for July 27th

It’s Wednesday night again. These summer days are just flying by, aren’t they? I haven’t been blogging much this month, but I’m going to try to add at least one more post a week.

 I wasn’t able to come up with any jokes I thought were good enough, so here are a few old jokes, I hope you get a chuckle from them.

 

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A priest, a cowboy and pirate were marooned on an island. There was nothing growing on the island except for bananas. After eating their fill, the cowboy and pirate discovered that the bananas were bad and causing hallucinations.

As the priest watched, the pirate tried to wrap a banana peel around his head, meanwhile the cowboy was similarly trying to tie a banana around his next.

 Finally the priest realized that in their hallucinations, the cowboy and pirate believed that the bananas were bandanas.

 “I’m glad I didn’t go ape over those,” the priest said aloud, adding “if I had, I’d be bananas by now!”

 

 

When the investigator found a clue, he quickly declared it to be something fishy, though he could never explain what a red herring was doing in a tuna cannery. 
   

 

How do you make a banana leave you alone?

 Show it the ice cream and chocolate sauce, that’s sure to make any banana split.

 

 

What was the complaint of the puma on a beach?

Sandy claws.

 

 

 

Why did the omelet refuse to pitch at a certain ballpark?

The fans were always egging him on. 

  

  

Why do pack rats make excellent pinch runners?

They are always stealing. 
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 I’ll try to have some new jokes for next week. Thanks for reading.