Jokes for July 20th

It’s Wednesday night again, but tonight I did manage to come up with a few jokes. Since politics are all you hear about right now, I have some political jokes for you, enjoy!

 

——– ————————

What did the seal have to do when it ran for office?

Jump through hoops. 
 

What happened when the power plant worker ran for president?

He electrified the electorate.
 

What happened when the mortician wanted to be senator?

He buried the opposition.
 

Why wasn’t the zombie nominated to run for office?

He just didn’t have any brains.
 

Did the cowboy running for officer get many people at his events?

Yes, he roped them in.

 

——————————

 

I hope these jokes gave you a chuckle, thanks for reading!

Jokes for July 6th

It’s been another fast week, hasn’t it? It seems like just yesterday that I published my last joke post, luckily this week I managed to come up with three jokes, I hope you enjoy these!

 

———————————–

 

What was the main complaint about the farmer’s home movies?

That they were grainy.

 

A famous movie director suddenly left Hollywood and bought a farm. After five years, he decided to make one last movie, so he found an old movie camera and shot a documentary about his farm.

 It was released to wide acclaim, but there was one complaint the reviewers had: the movie was grainy.

 

What does a wheat field have in common with a poorly made movie?

They are both grainy.

 

—————————

 

I hope you enjoyed these jokes. Thanks for reading!

Autocorrect follies

Everyone has trouble with autocorrect, it often changes what you were saying. My autocorrect has recently began changing words with an s at the end into two words.

Over the past year, I’ve been collecting a list of  errors I’ve caught autocorrect trying to replace. I thought you’d enjoy a few of these. The replaced word or words are first, followed by the word I correctly typed.

  • Letting it sit instead of lost it.
  • This instead of tanks
  • Make no instead of mind
  • Not Celt instead of nicely
  • Money nods instead of minds
  • You’re Welch instead of you’re welcome

Let me know if you’re interested in reading a few more of these.

Thanks for reading.

Humor for June 22nd

Sorry for being gone from WordPress with a word for the past week.

 Tonight I have a few new jokes and a few old favorites, all about ice cream, in a manner of speaking. Enjoy!

 

——————————

 

Why was the ice tray cited for disturbing the peace after it threw a party?

Because of all the ice screams.

 

What happened when the dairy mogul moved his operation to the North Pole and everything froze?

He was arrested for all of the cold blooded ice screams.

 

What did the overworked ice cream maker say when asked about the new flavors that were coming out?

He said (in a cold voice) that they gave him a headache.

 

What happens when frozen cream start serving drinks?

It becomes an ice cream bar. 

 

What website do desserts use to communicate?

Ice cream social media.

 

How do you make an ice cream float? 

Put it on the Queen Mary

 

What does a cat call anchovies in ice cream? 

Purr-fection.

 

————————————-

 

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the jokes!

How to ruin any food: Soft Tacos

Tonight I’m going to show you how to ruin soft tacos. This soft take on the classic hard or crisp taco is quite tasty and even easier to ruin than normal tacos.

I hope you’re ready to enjoy a batch of ruined soft tacos!

WARNING: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ENJOY GOOD FOOD.

The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

 

—————- ———————————

What they are:

A soft taco is basically a small flour tortilla with beans, meat, cheese and other toppings piled on one side of the tortilla and the other side folded over.

 

— ——————————————

History of soft tacos:

 

The history of tacos is interesting in itself, in fact it seems that what we know today as a soft taco is more traditional than the hard-shelled tacos, though the original soft tacos would have been made with corn tortillas instead of flour ones.

The history of tacos is an uncertain one, though there are references to it having been invented any time between 1500s and the 1800s, though it is possible it is a lot older than either of those dates.

If you’re interested in more details behind the origin of tacos, I suggest these fascinating sites:

National Taco Day: History of the Taco and Recipes

http://allabouttacos.weebly.com/

 

————— ——————————–

How to make a soft taco:

 

A soft taco is very simple to make, simply take the filling you normally use for a taco and assemble your soft taco on its side in layers. Normally you’d do it something like this:

Tortilla (of course)

Beans (spread on one half the tortilla)

Meat (right smack dab on top of the beans)

Cheese (On top of the meat)

Salsa

lettuce and sour cream optional.

Fold the tortilla over the filling and enjoy.

 

————- ———————————–

How to ruin them:

Now we come to the fun part of the post, ruining soft tacos!

You can ruin your soft tacos by doing any single thing listed below, or if you really want a ruined soft taco, mix and match any  number of the ideas below. Have fun!

Tortillas:

The tortilla is perhaps the most critical part of a soft taco.  The best way to ruin a tortilla is to make them yourself, in which case I suggest reading my post on ruining tortillas:

https://mageowl.wordpress.com/2015/08/09/how-to-ruin-any-food-tortilas/

If you don’t have the time to ruin your tortillas from scratch, there are still a few things you can do to store-bought tortillas:

  • Place the tortillas into a low over until they begin to turn crispy, the tortilla will break when you try to fold it, helping to ruin your soft taco.
  • Take a sharp knife and cut a tiny slit into the center of each tortilla, once folded this will rip and the filling will spill out, ruining your soft taco.
  • Get the largest tortillas you can find, these will be too large to easily eat as a soft taco, ruining your meal.
  • Brush your tortillas with melted butter and shake a mixture of nutmeg and cinnamon on, allow to sit until the butter hardens up. The result will be a tortilla that tastes like it was meant for a dessert, plus if enough butter was used, it’ll become slippery in the eaters hand, ruining the meal.

Refried Beans:

Ruining refried beans is quite easy, I point you to the post I wrote about ruining them:

https://mageowl.wordpress.com/2014/09/28/how-to-ruin-any-food-refried-beans/

Cheese:

Ah, cheese, perhaps one of my favorite ways to ruin something. The wrong cheese can turn a great meal into a ruined meal in seconds.

To ruin your soft tacos, consider using any of the following cheeses instead of cheddar:

  • Limburger
  • Mozzarella
  • Swiss
  • Blue cheese (also adds that moldy color, double the ruin!)
  • Munster

 

Toppings:

What’s better than the toppings on a taco, soft or otherwise?

Try a few of these toppings on your next soft taco to ruin it:

  • Strawberry jam
  • Strawberry jam mixed with pickle relish to mimic salsa.
  • Coleslaw
  • Sauerkraut
  • Spaghetti sauce
  • Mustard
  • Ketchup
  • Barbecue sauce
  • Pesto

Sour cream replacements:

  • Vanilla ice cream
  • Mint ice cream
  • Tomato ice cream (there really is such a thing)
  • Buttered popcorn
  • Frozen yogurt

—- ———————————————-

There you have it, several ways to ruin soft tacos. Did I miss any? What is your favorite way to ruin a soft taco? Have a food you’d like to see me ruin? Leave a comment!

Thanks for reading!

 

Is it Steampunk: Airships

Tonight I thought I’d take a moment to talk about airships and their place in steampunk.
Almost every good steampunk story includes an airship of some kind. Yet there are airships that fit in steampunk and those that just don’t quite fit right.

  • Zeppelins: Steampunk, pure and simple.
  • Blimps: There are generally steampunk, yet just throwing one in a story doesn’t make a story steampunk.
  • Hot air balloons: these could be steampunk, yet they might fit into clockpunk better.
  • Bi-planes: Not steampunk, these would fit somewhere between steampunk and dieselpunk.
  • Planes in general: not steampunk, they are dieselpunk if anything.

 

 There is one exception to these and that is something like the airship in Jules Verne’s Master of the World.

 While airships are a key part of steampunk, they can easily be found in many other ‘punk genres.

 

I hope this answered any questions you might have been wondering about airships in Steampunk. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments, I’m open to expanding this post. At a later time if it’s warranted.

Thanks for reading!