Is it plausible? (July 29th, 2018)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Humor, is it plausible3 Comments

Is this conspiracy theory plausible? Let me know what you think in the comments below!

Tonight I’m trying something a bit different, let me know how you like it.

On October 2nd, a high level meeting will take place between the owner of a popular pizza chain, a dictator and an orange farmer. They are expected to discuss ways to destabilize the world economy via adding orange slices to all pizzas and mandating everyone eat such pizzas.

It is expected that this combination will cause riots throughout the world, with Italy and the United States temporarily falling into anarchy. The only pizza not expected to be effected is the penne alla vodka pizza as no one eats them anyway. At this moment there is consent the peepzza might also go unaffected.

What a horrifying theory, isn’t it? Thanks for reading!

Who said it? Special summer edition (July 23rd)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Quotes, Who Said It?4 Comments

I have a special edition of Who Said It? For you tonight, all these quotes are perfect for the hot summer days! Good luck and enjoy!

The people of the State of Texas consist principally of men, women, and children, with a sprinkling of cowboys. The weather is very good, thermometer rarely rising above 2,500 degrees in the shade and hardly ever below 212.

A: O. Henry

B: Mark Twain

I am cruel thirsty this hot weather…. Nothing makes me so excessively peevish as hot weather.

A: Emily Bronte

B:Jonathan Swift

“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”

A: Yogi Berra

B: Babe Ruth

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps one in a continual state of inelegance.

A: Jane Austen

B: Charlotte Bronte

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed these quotes.

Who said it? (July 21st)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Quotes, Who Said It?2 Comments

Can you guess the famous person who said the following quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. Tonight we have weather related quotes. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

A: George Carlin

B: Mark Twain

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

A: Mark Twain

B: Will Rogers

I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining.

A: Winston Churchill

B: Groucho Marx

One can’t predict the weather more than a few days in advance.

A: Stephen Hawking

B: Bing Crosby

I cannot command winds and weather.

A: John Paul Jones

B: Horatio Nelson

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

A: Mark Twain

B: Abraham Lincoln

“One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter.”

A: Henry David Thoreau

B: O. Henry

I hope you had fun with these quotes tonight. I may have a special Who Said It? Tomorrow night.

Funny or odd? (July 20th_

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn funny or odd, Funny or Odd?, Humor, Jokes5 Comments

It’s been a while since the last Funny or odd, so here are two. I hope you enjoy them.

A Priest, a goat and a crab walk into a bar, the priest looks at the other two and says: “Something smells fishy here.”

The crab says, “Don’t look at me, I’m a crustacean, not a fish!”

What do you call the writer of bad jokes?

A: The author of this blog.

B: A funny pun writer.

C: It’s impossible to say as there are no bad jokes.

You know the drill, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Thanks for reading!

Who said it? (July 14th)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Quotes, Who Said It?5 Comments

Can you guess the famous person who said the following quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. I’m trying to make it slightly easier this week by only giving you two choices per quote, let me know your thoughts on this change. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

A: Albert Einstein

B: Henry David Thoreau

Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you.

A: Henry David Thoreau

B: Frank Lloyd Wright

The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.

A: Robert Frost

B: William Shakespeare

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.

A: Jacques Yves Cousteau

B: John Paul Jones

Good luck and have fun!

Is it plausible? (July 1st)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Blogging, Humor, is it plausible2 Comments

Tonight’s conspiracy theory:

A deranged group of clockmakers have banded together to create a time dilation machine in response to so many people going to digital and atomic clocks. Their goal was to destabilize time to the point that only their own mechanical clocks could be relied upon.

Unfortunately the result has been limited to causing bloggers to miss writing posts due to lack of time. The clockmakers are not quitting their dastardly plan yet, instead they are doubling down and creating a much larger machine.

Is this plausible? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Who said it? (June 16th)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Quotes, Who Said It?4 Comments

Can you guess the famous person who said the following quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

There isn’t a person anywhere who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can.

A. Henry Ford

B. Mark Twain

C. Abraham Lincoln

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

A. Cary Grant

B.Winston Churchill

C. Henry Ford

Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

A. Will Rogers

B. Mark Twain

C. Abraham Lincoln

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.

A. Confucius

B. Winston Churchill

C. Robert E. Lee

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

A. Harold Lloyd

B. Confucius

C. Eleanor Roosevelt

Good luck!

Is it Probable? (June 10th)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Humor, is it plausible1 Comment

Here is tonight’s new conspiracy theory:

.

A secret government agency, possibly acting without orders is systematically searching the internet for any blog talking about conspiracy theories and sabotaging the blog stats to deter the blogger from continuing to post conspiracy theories.

Is this conspiracy theory probable? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Who said it? (June 9th)

On By Colin Noel-JohnsonIn Baseball, Quotes, Who Said It?5 Comments

Can you guess the famous person who said the following baseball quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

Any minute, any day,
some players may break
a long standing record.
That’s one of the fascinations
about the game,
the unexpected surprises.

A: Cornelius McGillicuddy, Sr

B: Babe Ruth

C: Yogi Berra

Poets are
like baseball pitchers.
Both have their moments.
The intervals are the tough things.

A: Mark Twain
B: Robert Lee Frost

C: William Taft

Now there’s three things
you can do
in a baseball game:
You can win
or you can lose
or it can rain.

A: Roger Morris

B: Ted Williams
C: Charles Dillon “Casey” Stengel

If it wasn’t for baseball,
I’d be in either
the penitentiary
or the cemetery.

A: Babe Ruth

B: James Cagney

C: Mickey Mantle

There are only two seasons:
winter and Baseball.

A: Ted Williams

B: Babe Ruth

C: William Louis “Bill” Veeck, Jr.

Baseball is like a poker game.
Nobody wants to quit
when he’s losing;
nobody wants you to quit
when you’re ahead.

A: Jackie Robinson

B: Mark Twain

C: Pete Rose

I hope you enjoyed these quotes, with any luck you’ll hit the answers out of the ballpark! So sit back, ponder the quotes while you root for the home team, don’t forget it’s a shame if they lose!

Thanks for reading my blog.