Another fowl week

It’s Thanksgiving week again, which means it’s a week for turkey and parades.

  Is there anything more fun than watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade? It’s also a good excuse to relax.

 This week is a good week to take a few minutes and glance through a few comic books, take a few minutes to reread a few old favorites.

 While you enjoy your turkey this week, make sure to save a few choice pieces for your cats, they will enjoy them and you won’t have to worry about midnight revenge attacks due to your cat not getting any turkey.

 Blogging has been difficult at best for the past few weeks, so I decided that I’d take most of this week off, I may blog if something strikes my fancy, otherwise I’ll try to be back next week. Thanks for understanding.

 I hope you enjoy your week. Thanks for reading.

How to ruin any food: Roasted turkey

Tonight we’re going to ruin a roasted turkey. Why? Mostly because here in the U.S. it’s nearly Thanksgiving and that’s what everyone eats.

First off I should make sure everyone knows that we’re ruining the fowl turkey, not declaring war on the country or anything like that.*

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:


The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

What it is:

A roasted turkey is just that, a turkey that has been roasted in a roasting pan in an oven, periodically basted and cooked to perfection.

History of roasted Turkey:

The history of roasted turkey is basically nonexistent. Luckily I’m here to create the actual history of turkey roasting for you:

Turkeys were first roasted in 10,000 BC, however as it came out dry and gravy hadn’t yet been invented, it was lost to history.

In 50 BC, Julius Caesar sent a legion to North America in search of a rare bird, they brought back a turkey. Julius Caesar was impressed and instantly saw the promise of raising turkeys and cooking them, his over eager chef prepared the bird without realizing that it was the only one in Rome. Julius Caesar planned on sending an expedition back to North America to set up a turkey farm, however a war broke out and the humble turkey was forgotten.

After that it wasn’t until the pilgrims landed in Plymouth that turkeys were roasted again, this time by a bad comedian who had somehow stowed away on the May Flower.

At last an oven was built and turkey roasting became popular, the rest is history.

How to roast a turkey:

Roasting a turkey can be easy or hard. Some people insist of brining their turkeys before cooking them, others just pop it in the over and forget about it. Between these to types of people are numerous variations. Therefore I will not give a recipe for cooking a turkey, instead I suggest you look up a few recipes and see what sounds best to you.

How to ruin a roasted turkey:

Now we come to the fun part, ruining the roasted turkey!

Now a simple way to ruin a roasted turkey is to use ruined gravy, if you wish to go this route, please read my ruining gravy post:

Otherwise continue reading:


If you believe that a brined turkey tastes better, I have a few ways to ruin the brine:

First off, instead of using salt water, use sugar-water, it’ll give your turkey a sweet taste and might even make it crisper, you even have a chance of it becoming caramelized.

The next way is to replace your brine with root beer, it’ll add an interesting flavor to your turkey.


All  turkeys need to be basted while they cook, so why not have some fun and change the brine?

  • Root beer – is there anything better than root beer?
  • Ginger ale – nearly as good as root beer.
  • Lemonade – for those in warm climates.
  • Tomato juice – are you sure your turkey is done? Or did you cut yourself while basting the turkey?
  • Chocolate syrup – There are chocolate covered cherries, chocolate covered raisins, why not chocolate  covered turkeys?

While I personally think any of those would be  good  enough, here is  one more basting recipe:
One full bottle each of: Hot sauce, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, baste early and often.


Perhaps the simplest method of all! Simply  over or  under cook your turkey. I prefer over cooking it, not covering it while it’s cooking and do not baste it at all, serve without gravy and you have  the perfect ruined turkey!



Everyone knows that spices are important to cooking and baking, but this will show you how you can ruin something just by changing the spices!

  • Pumpkin spice
  • Allspice
  • Horseradish powder
  • Cinnamon
  • Cloves

Any one or more of the above spices will easily ruin a turkey, there are many more as well, play around and see what  you  can come up with.


Most  people stuff their turkeys, here are  three  ways to ruin the  stuffing:

  1. One bag or box of your choice brand cereal, with marshmallows.
  2. Whole, unpeeled, unwashed, potatoes.
  3. Quarter five onions, unpeeled, mix with bread crumbs moisten with root beer.

A few more ideas:

Yes, I have a few more ideas, I hope you enjoy these too:

  • Loosen the skin of your turkey, instead of butter, add small marshmallows.
  • Once your turkey is ready, dust with  powdered sugar.
  • Steal the old joke from Groucho Marx,  change it a bit and tell your guests that the turkey is fresh, say ‘I shot it in my overcoat this morning, how it got into my over coat I’ll never know’, as you set down a covered tray with a coat sleeve hanging out from under the cover. Note: you don’t really have a turkey under there, just a coat.

While that last one doesn’t really ruin the actual turkey, it should ruin your guests appetite, which is nearly as good.


Did I miss your favorite way to ruin a roasted turkey? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Have a great rest of the weekend.


*Reference to the Doctor Who 2007 Christmas special “Voyage of the Damned” just in case you were curious.

Random thoughts for November 20th

I have a few random thoughts for you tonight, I hope you enjoy them.
Snow has finally hit, which makes Fall feel more like Winter. It’s amazing to realize that snow occurs during at least three seasons every year.
The latest rumors are that Twitter is having a hard time making money, whether or not it’s true, at least we know that there will always be tweets, even if they are by birds.
Some weeks it can be hard to come up with anything to blog about, that’s how this week has been for me. With any luck I’ll have a lot more ideas next week.
Thanks for reading.

Post number 600!

This is my 600th post on my blog. While it’s not quite as glamorous of a milestone ad 100 or 500, but it’s still a number to be celebrated.

 So much has changed since I first started blogging, back then I wasn’t sure what I was doing or really even why I was blogging. I only knew everyone was blogging and I wanted a blog of my own.

 Now of course, my blog is mostly humor related, which is something I’m happy with. Over the next year I may revisit some of the series of blog posts I have had over the years, such as updating classic movies.

 I wouldn’t have made it this long without the many people who have visited my blog. Whether you are a new comer to my blog or if you’re ge been following my blog since I started it, I want to thank you for reading my blog.

 I hope that The next 600 posts are as rewarding as the first 600 have been.

 Thank you for reading, here’s s to the next 600 posts.

How to ruin any food: ready for winter

Tonight I thought I’d do something a bit different. As the weather forecasters say there is a large snow storm moving in, I thought it would be a good time to take a look back and remember some of the winter foods I’ve ruined before.

However, knowing how accurate the weather forecasts often are, instead of a ruined mug of hot chocolate:  it might be better to ruin a glass of lemonade instead:  or


Soups are always nice during a snow storm, perhaps you might enjoy a nice ruined bowl of Pumpkin soup:

Or maybe a ruined bowl of onion soup:

If you really wanted to, you can have a bowl of ruined chicken noodle soup too:


What if you’re not in the mood for soup you may ask, never fear, I have plenty of other ideas for you!

Mashed potatoes are a comfort food for many:

Make sure you ruin enough gravy to cover them:

Like some batter fried chicken to go with your mashed potatoes and gravy?

Maybe you feel like just having a bowl of refried beans:



Don’t forget dessert! Some people believe it’s the most important part of a meal!

Ruining a pineapple upside down cake is always a great way to start winter:

Don’t forget the whipped cream!

Carrot cake is also an option to ruin of those cold days:


While it’s not much, these ideas will help you kill some time during the coming snow storm.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

Did I miss a favorite ruining food post? Link not working? I want to hear about it, leave a comment below!


Jokes for November 11th

It’s Wednesday night, that means it’s time for some jokes! I only have a few for you tonight, also they are likely very bad jokes, but they should still be worth a chuckle.


Why did the knife think it was a ship?
It was a cutter.

When the architect became a star quarterback, everyone said it was because of his huts, regardless of whether or not they were in Omaha.

A politician, a CEO and a pigeon walked out not a flower shop. The pigeon hopped out not a stool, looked at the florist and said “Don’t look at me, I’m not with those crooks.”

A farmer and a hockey player chase a kid into a restaurant, after several tables are knocked over, the hockey play grabs the kid, turns to the farm and says “I’ve finally got your goat.”

How do you know if a gallon of milk has gone bad?
A good place to start is wanted posters.

Why did the knife take up tightrope walking?
Because he wasn’t dull.


Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed these jokes!

Strange November…

It’s been a strange November, there have been the death of an old time tv special effect inventor, and a car customizer. All we can hope you s that the rest of the year will have fewer old time celebrities dying.

 The weather is begining to turn colder, now it is safe to say late fall is here. All we have left to wait for is the snow to start falling. Bets are being taken on when the big snow will hit.

 What do we have to look forward to this month? Cold air, some snow and the Thanksgiving day parade, besides good food of course.

 Food is important during the winter months, it is something that can allow us to relax and ignore the cold weather until spring hits.

 Is it a surprise that some of the most popular holidays occur in the winter? I think not, I believe that it is due to the fact that nearly all holidays are, at least to a point, centered around food.

 Yet we do not live by food alone, we need entertainment, such as comic books. There are many comic books to choose from, during the late fall early winter, I suggest reading something fast paced and exciting, the sky is the limit, enjoy exploring them and maybe you’ll find a new favorite or three.

This week I urge you to go out and have fun, this may be one of the last weeks to do certain things before winter hits.

Thanks for reading!

How to ruin any food: Whipped cream

Tonight we’re going to ruin whipped cream, that wonderful topping of desserts, additive to many more desserts, something everyone wants to eat by itself and all around great thing to eat any way you can get it.

Why are we ruining whipped cream? Because we can? Because it’s part of so many desserts? Because I’ve ignored it this long? All of those!

Are you ready?

Before we begin, once more I feel compelled to offer these words:


The rest of this post in intended to be humorous and not to be taken as new culinary treats about to sweep the nation.Any attempt to ingest the substance described below is not suggested and should be avoided. If you do attempt to taste any of the following food related ideas, please be warned that disgust, nausea and possibly even death could be the result.

What it is:

Whipped cream is basically heavy cream with air beaten into it. If you want a more scientific answer, I’m happy to oblige: When heavy cream (whipping cream) is beaten, air bubbles are forced between the fat of the cream and stick there, doubling the volume of the cream. If the whipping cream is beaten too long, butter will be formed.

History of whipped cream:

The history of whipped cream is an interesting one, the origin of it is lost in time, though there are many theories of when and how it was discovered.

We do have a few facts:

  • Whipped cream was first described in the 16th century.
  • It was originally called ‘Milk snow’
  • It was first made using bundles of branches for a whisk.
  • It could take an hour or more  to  whip cream as the chef would pause every few moments to skim off the whipped cream  before  continuing.

Theories of how it was invented.

  • A horse ride with a half filled container of cream.
  • Not correctly churning butter.

My own theory about the invention or rather discovery of  whipped cream, for that is what really happened, is thus:

On a dairy farm at some point in the distant past, the milk had been collected, it was a cold day, likely winter or fall, before the milk could be made into cheese or butter, there was a strong earthquake and several after shocks that occurred very soon after, the result, besides the damage to the farm and the nearby towns, was a pail full of whipped cream. It likely took several attempts to replicate it, but when it was it became what we know today as whipped cream.

How to make it:

Making whipped cream is very easy, you just take whipping cream and beat it, add a little sugar if you’d like and there you go!

You can beat it with a mixer, with a whisk or if you’re very ambitious, with a fork.

How to ruin it:

Now we arrive at the fun part, ruining our whipped cream. To ruin whipped cream it is almost always necessary to begin with whipping cream, the only times it is not necessary will be under More Ways to Ruin Whipped Cream.


The first place to start it with additives or additions to your whipped cream. At first glance this wouldn’t seem to work, however if done right it will, after all sugar is normally added to whipped cream and it is nothing more than an additive, which brings us to our first way to ruin it:


Substitute salt for the sugar. This will result in your guests being surprised at first and later horrified, as the saltiness will overwhelm the sweetness of whatever you put your whipped cream on top of. Please note that you need to make sure to add enough salt.


A few more additions:

  • Mustard powder – while it will give your whipped cream a slightly yellowish tint, that can help ruin it, plus the taste…
  • Curry powder – again it’ll change the color, but it will ruin it.
  • Cayenne powder – this time it’ll turn slightly red, use enough and you’ll have hot tempers.
  • Black pepper – Not what anyone would think would be in whipped cream, plus the specks of black helps ruin it.
  • Horseradish, powdered – mix well and watch the surprise on the taster’s face!


Cream replacements:

Yes, you can replace the cream in whipped cream, it may not foam up as well, but it’s fun anyway.

  • Potato flakes, ground – it won’t get very fluffy, but it’ll ruin it.
  • Egg whites – It’ll get fluffy, but it won’t be the same.
  • Cornstarch – just thicken water and whip well, no taste, no problem, ruined.

One other way to ruin whipped cream takes some skill, but it is possible. First take a can or bottle of root beer, the ones with most foam are best, pour it into a bowl and quickly mix in corn starch*, whip until it gets foamy or fizzy. This is a great way to ruin a cream pie.

  • to allow the cornstarch to mix in better, you may first want to mix it with ginger ale to form a paste.

More Ways to Ruin Whipped Cream:

Yes Virginia, there are more ways to ruin whipped cream! Read on!


Whip your cream as normal, when ready to serve, place a light covering of green or blue cotton candy on top, do not press into the whipped cream as it will begin to melt. Tell whoever you serve it to that you whipped the cream a week ago.


Take normally whipped cream, before serving add a few drops of blue or green food coloring, do not stir in, allow it to sink in instead, it should appear to be blobs of mold when served.


Take your normally whipped cream, use it as normal, such as on top of a slice of pie, however before serving, splash a dash of ketchup over it, if done correctly it will look like blood. A bandage on a finger helps get the idea across.


Take your whipped cream and add some beet juice to it, it will become a disgusting red color, ruining it for most people.


That’s all the ideas I have for tonight, did I miss any? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!

R.I.P. George Barris

The amazing car customizer George Barris has died.

Ngeorge Barris was the genius behind many of the cars in classic tv shows, his work included the 1960s era Batmobile, the Munster’s car, the truck in the Beverly Hillbillies and many more.

 While not a household name himself, his work still remains recognizable today and for the foreseeable future.

  George Barris will be missed, but he will be remembered by his work, which is part of television history.