Who said it? Special summer edition (July 23rd)

I have a special edition of Who Said It? For you tonight, all these quotes are perfect for the hot summer days! Good luck and enjoy!

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The people of the State of Texas consist principally of men, women, and children, with a sprinkling of cowboys. The weather is very good, thermometer rarely rising above 2,500 degrees in the shade and hardly ever below 212.

A: O. Henry

B: Mark Twain

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I am cruel thirsty this hot weather…. Nothing makes me so excessively peevish as hot weather.

A: Emily Bronte

B:Jonathan Swift

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“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”

A: Yogi Berra

B: Babe Ruth

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What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps one in a continual state of inelegance.

A: Jane Austen

B: Charlotte Bronte

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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed these quotes.

Who said it? (July 21st)

Can you guess the famous person who said the following quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. Tonight we have weather related quotes. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

A: George Carlin

B: Mark Twain

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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

A: Mark Twain

B: Will Rogers

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I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining.

A: Winston Churchill

B: Groucho Marx

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One can’t predict the weather more than a few days in advance.

A: Stephen Hawking

B: Bing Crosby

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I cannot command winds and weather.

A: John Paul Jones

B: Horatio Nelson

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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

A: Mark Twain

B: Abraham Lincoln

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“One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter.”

A: Henry David Thoreau

B: O. Henry

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I hope you had fun with these quotes tonight. I may have a special Who Said It? Tomorrow night.

Who said it? (July 14th)

Can you guess the famous person who said the following quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. I’m trying to make it slightly easier this week by only giving you two choices per quote, let me know your thoughts on this change. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

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Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.

A: Albert Einstein

B: Henry David Thoreau

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Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you.

A: Henry David Thoreau

B: Frank Lloyd Wright

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The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.

A: Robert Frost

B: William Shakespeare

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The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.

A: Jacques Yves Cousteau

B: John Paul Jones

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Good luck and have fun!

Who said it? (June 16th)

Can you guess the famous person who said the following quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

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There isn’t a person anywhere who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can.

A. Henry Ford

B. Mark Twain

C. Abraham Lincoln

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Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

A. Cary Grant

B.Winston Churchill

C. Henry Ford

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Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

A. Will Rogers

B. Mark Twain

C. Abraham Lincoln

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When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.

A. Confucius

B. Winston Churchill

C. Robert E. Lee

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You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

A. Harold Lloyd

B. Confucius

C. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Good luck!

Who said it? (June 9th)

Can you guess the famous person who said the following baseball quotes? Leave your guesses in the comments. The correct answers will be revealed in the comments late Sunday night or Monday.

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Any minute, any day,
some players may break
a long standing record.
That’s one of the fascinations
about the game,
the unexpected surprises.

A: Cornelius McGillicuddy, Sr

B: Babe Ruth

C: Yogi Berra

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Poets are
like baseball pitchers.
Both have their moments.
The intervals are the tough things.

A: Mark Twain
B: Robert Lee Frost

C: William Taft

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Now there’s three things
you can do
in a baseball game:
You can win
or you can lose
or it can rain.

A: Roger Morris

B: Ted Williams
C: Charles Dillon “Casey” Stengel

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If it wasn’t for baseball,
I’d be in either
the penitentiary
or the cemetery.

A: Babe Ruth

B: James Cagney

C: Mickey Mantle

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There are only two seasons:
winter and Baseball.

A: Ted Williams

B: Babe Ruth

C: William Louis “Bill” Veeck, Jr.

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Baseball is like a poker game.
Nobody wants to quit
when he’s losing;
nobody wants you to quit
when you’re ahead.

A: Jackie Robinson

B: Mark Twain

C: Pete Rose

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I hope you enjoyed these quotes, with any luck you’ll hit the answers out of the ballpark! So sit back, ponder the quotes while you root for the home team, don’t forget it’s a shame if they lose!

Thanks for reading my blog.

Who said it? (May 19th)

It’s time for Who Said It? You know how it works, guess who said the following quotes and tell me in the comments below. Answers will be posted on Monday if no one guesses correctly. In honor of the Preakness, here are some horse related quotes.

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It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

A. Mark Twain

B. Winston Churchill

C. Groucho Marx

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A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A. Mark Twain

B. Groucho Mark

C. Will Rogers

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I can make a General in five minutes but a good horse is hard to replace

A. Tomas Jefferson

B. Abraham Lincoln

C. George Washington

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Good luck!

Who said it? May 12th

Another new feature for your enjoyment. In ‘Who Said It?’ I’ll give you a quote and three people who might have said it, you decide who actually said it. Tonight I’ll have two quotes for you to guess:

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Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

A. Mark Twain

B. Ernest Hemingway

C. Otis Campbell

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The future ain’t what it used to be.

A. Captain Kirk

B. Yogi Berra

C. Tomas Jefferson

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I hope you’re enjoying these new features, good luck figuring out the correct answer and have fun! Leave your guesses in the comments, the answers will be posted on Monday.

Shakespeare quotes updated for the Rio Olympics

Ever wonder what Shakespeare would have said about this years Olympics? I have the answer.

 

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To bees or not two bees, that is the question… The answer is no, those are two Zika carrying misquotes!

  

Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him so well… Unless he was doping, in that case I never met the guy.

  

Better three hours too soon than a minute late… Unless you show up at the wrong event.

 

The lady doth protest too much, methinks, there be steroids in the air!

  

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark… Luckily we’re in Rio.

  

ll that glisters is not gold, there are silver medals too.

  

Now is the winter of our discontent in Rio, though these are the Summer games, geography is odd that way.

  

Tempt not a desperate man, lest a whole country gets banned for doping.

  

A man can die but once, but he can miss out on a gold medal many times.

    

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 I hope you enjoyed these updated quotes. Thanks for reading!

Famous quotes as seen by a vampire, a werewolf and a witch

I have the wonderful opportunity to present to you, my loyal readers, the thoughts of a vampire, a werewolf and a witch on famous quotes.

This opportunity is only available at this time of year, as all kinds of monsters are available for interviews… The only scary beings  available the rest of the year are lawyers and politicians.

I hope you enjoy this post!

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Fair is foul, and foul is fair.   – Macbeth 

Vampire: Where are the Cubs?

Werewolf : I don’t much care for baseball.

Witch: I thought the World Series was supposed to be over by now.

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I am in blood
Stepp’d in so far, that, should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o’er. – Macbeth

Vampire: I love blood, tis like wine  for me!

Werewolf: I much prefer dry ground, no wading for me.

Witch: Ah, that would be Shakespeare, my favorite of his in fact.

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Curse ruthless time! Curse our mortality. How cruelly short is the allotted span for all we must cram into it! – Winston Churchill

Vampire: That is one curse I don’t have, perhaps the only one…

Werewolf: I’m willing to cram a lot into life, but no silver!

Witch: I’ve got a cure for that, let’s see, where is my eye of newt?

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Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground. -Theodore Roosevelt

Vampire: What if I’m a bat?

Werewolf: Sound advice, unless the moon is full.

Witch:  If I do, I won’t be able to fly, what use is my broom then?

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Speak softly and carry a big stick: you’ll go far. – Theodore Roosevelt

Vampire: good advice, at least for a baseball player.

Werewolf: (No retort given.)

Witch: does my broom count?

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‘Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world. ~William Shakespeare

Vampire: Sounds like home.

Werewolf: I think I woke up there this morning.

Witch:  it’s also time for my favorite cooking show: From grave to table.

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 I had hoped to have time to get more retorts from the vampire, werewolf and witch, but they had some haunting a to get to.

 I hope you enjoyed this post, hopefully I’ll be able to bring you more retorts to quotes soon.

Thanks for reading!

What would Shakespeare say today?

What would Shakespeare write today? How many ch different would his famous plays be? What about the lines that get quoted so often?

If you’ve been wondering about these questions, I have the answer! I’ve put several seconds into thinking up these reworked quoted. I hope you enjoy!

I’d like to apologize in advance for any formatting errors, the new WordPress app has a few bugs in it.

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Original: A fool think himself wise. A wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Updated: a fool thinks himself wise enough to be a politician. A wise man knows himself to be fool enough to be a politician.

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Original: Better three hours to early than a minute late.

Updated: Better a text too soon than a tweet to late.

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Original: wisely, and slow. They stumble who run fast.

Updated: Wisely and slow. They stumble into traffic who text while jogging.
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Original: There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Updated: there is nothing either good nor bad, but politicians make it so.

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Original: My words go up while my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

Updated: My words go up while my thoughts remain below. I should have been a political speechwriter.

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Original: To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Updated: To be, or not to be, politicians can have it both ways.
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Original: To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Updated: To tweet or to blog, that is the question I text.
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Original: The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

Updated: That lady protests like a politician, or I’ll be a grapefruit in sweatpants.
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Original: Out damned spot, out I say!

Updated: Siri, how do I remove blood stains?

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Original: now is the winter of our discontent.

Updated: As we get past the Fall equinox, the days begin to get shorter. As the jet stream moves to bring cold are from the North Pole down our way and the El Niño is forming in the pacific looks to push high than normal amounts of moisture inland, it looks like we’re in for a hard winter. Coupled with a downturn in the economy and a crashing stock market, I’d say we may now have a winter of discontent on our hands.

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How did I do? Do you think that William Shakespeare would write like that if he were alive today? Even if he wouldn’t, I hope you managed to get a chuckle from these updated quotes.

Thanks for reading.