Alien snow?

With the recent snow in the southern US , some people have noticed that the snow has an odd smell, naturally they decided to try to melt it with fire. The odd thing is that it doesn’t seem to melt.
While there are many people coming up with reasons, such as the snow evaporating. Or the water that melted moving to the center of the snow, I’m worried that there might be something more sinister behind it.
You can easily find people talking about this snow as well as seeing videos on YouTube, I’m not including any links because I can’t find a reliable news source and I don’t want to annoy anyone by linking to their story without approval.

I have a terrifying theory or two myself:

What if this snow is from another planet? Does anyone remember ‘The Waters of Mars’ episode of Doctor Who? What if this is the catalyst that starts a Zombie apocalypse?

All of the videos I saw showed these people bringing the snow into their homes… Sounds slightly like another episode of Doctor Who, doesn’t it? Could it be a weapon developed by terrorists?

Perhaps it’s just odd snow after all, snow from Earth without any foul origin.

Thanks for reading and please comment if you’ve encountered this snow or have a theory of your own.

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Are you a crane?

Tonight’s bad joke:

 

A construction foreman was having a bad day, half of his crew was new, the other half didn’t show up for work that day and to top everything off, the crane that was needed wasn’t there. Turning to the closest worker he yelled for him to get a crane ASAP. The newbie nodded and went to get a crane. An hour later he returned with a crane, walked up to the foreman and said “Ukraine sir.”

 

See? Didn’t I tell you it was a bad joke?

Before I continue I was to explain that I know very little about Ukraine except for what’s in the news, I hold no ill will towards the people of Ukraine, but I’m going to take advantage of all humor I can find for my blog. That said, let’s get to some humor!

 

In all honesty, what kind of country calls itself Ukraine? It only leads to the people there calling one another cranes, which is not much of an insult.

 

Ukraine had been in the news lately as they are  having protests over anti-protesting laws… I guess those laws weren’t that well written, were they?

 

The last time Ukraine was in the news as prominently as it is now, they were having their Orange Revolution, which I assume was orange juice and vodka.

 

I think that there must be a better way to change a country’s direction than protests that turn violent, maybe the leads of the government and the opposition should have a competition to determine who controls the country, they should choose a sport that none of them are familiar with to keep it fair and have a winner takes all approach.

What could make that even better and also profitable for Ukraine, would be if they turned it into a reality show, they could sell it to some cable channel for millions and within a year we’d be forced to ignite unrest in countries around the world for rates.

 

All joking aside, the protesters in Ukraine are calling for a new government in Ukraine, demanding that their president resign at once… just like what’s happening in Syria, which leads me to wonder if Ukraine will become another Syria if things don’t change.

 

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend! Feel free to comment.

Zombies are here!

Zombie subdivisions that is. According to the news today, http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_24962818/zombie-subdivisions-abandoned-downturn-plague-colorado-counties there are a number of subdivisions in nearly every state in the USA.
When I first started reading it, I wondered if they were talking about subdivisions for Zombies, which paints an interesting picture if you think about it for a moment:

Subdivisions with paint peeling, windows busted out and doors falling off, a family of zombies sitting on a falling down deck.

Now another interesting thought that hit me was that this sounded like something from a horror movie or book… Which I’m sure will be coming out in the next few months.
I can see it now, a squad of zombie hunters encounters a subdivision that has been infected with a zombie virus, after two or three of the zombie hunters are killed, it is up to the remaining zombie hunters to kill the subdivision.

Or: a normal subdivision is jolted out of its passive life when a zombie subdivision arrives to feast on its wi-fi, can it survive?

That brings up another question, how do you kill a zombie house? I do have a few ideas, but I feel I’d better say that I don’t endorse these ideas for fighting houses.
If you can kill a zombie by shooting it in the head, you’d have to kill a zombie house in a similar fashion, say by shooting it in a vulnerable spot, maybe in the breaker panel or water meter, a sure fire way would be to shoot the gas meter, but like I said, don’t do this at home!

Now if, on the other hand, these zombie subdivisions were to be sold to zombies, they could have a few good slogans:

Building quality homes for zombies since 2005.

Undead subdivisions with all the features undead buyers want.

Live your undead life in a undead subdivision built with you in mind. (vampires might enjoy this as well)

Homes for those with brains.

Homes to die for.

I could keep going, but I’m not that interested in zombies myself.

Thanks for reading! I hope you’ve enjoyed this post! Feel free to comment below.

Things I’ve found interesting this past week

This past week has had a few interesting things that I felt I  should comment on, none of them was enough for a single post on their own, so I decided to add them all up into one post.

 

This past week Google bought Nest, a maker of smart thermostats and fire alarms. This in itself wasn’t very interesting, however two things that followed made it interesting:

1: I’ve seen this deal referred to as Google-Nest, or similar, it sounds like an order, “Google Nest!”

2: A lot of people online are saying that Apple should have bought Nest, which I guess would have resulted in an Apple Nest.

 

This week I’ve read about how NASA wasn’t to study an asteroid of metal that’s somewhere near the asteroid belt. They believe that it was the core of a planet that never fully formed. It’s interesting, but I can’t see how sending a probe there would do any good, I say leave it for a mining company to exploit.

 

A peace conference in Geneva will have representatives from both sides of the Syrian civil war… don’t look for it to be a very  civil conference.

 

Payton Manning (Quarterback of the Denver Broncos) seems to want to play in Omaha in a Hurry Hurry, as he kept shouting ‘Omaha!” during last Sunday’s game. Rumors have it that he might have been expecting a steak delivery that afternoon.

In a related note, when the Broncos play the Patriots on Sunday here in Denver, it is expected that both quarterbacks will be shouting to be traded to Omaha, which is odd as I can’t even find proof that there is an active football team in Omaha, however with the money both players have, they should be able to start a dozen minor league teams with ease.

 

I guess that’s about all that was really interesting this week, hopefully next week will have more interesting news.

Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

 

Security or spying gone too far?

I read a story this morning about how tombstones are going to be getting microchiped. In case you having read about it, here’s a link to an article about it: http://www.denverpost.com/nationworld/ci_24534404/south-africa-cemeteries-offer-microchip-tombstones?source=rss

While at first glance a number of questions arise, for instance:

  • Why would anyone steal a tombstone? Would they reuse it?
  • Is there a black market for Tombstones?
  • Are they going to be plugged in, use a battery or equipped with solar panels? Or maybe a wind turbine?
  • Does it need DSL, cable, wi-fi or cellular?

It also brings to mind a much more sinister idea: What if this is just the first steps in a vast plot by governments to keep track of us after we’re dead?

Just imagine, you are going on about your business, haunting a cemetery, talking to your ghostly friends when all of a sudden the FBI shows up with a medium and a priest and arrests you. Your crime? One of the ghosts you say hello to every night just happened to be the ghost haunting VIPs in the government.

Or perhaps the ghosts you haunted with happened to have links to terrorists in life, perhaps they had even been trying to convince you to take part in a skeletal uprising that they were planning (you refused, of course, but the NSA wouldn’t believe it).

Of course this is all far-fetched on my behalf, there would be several hurdles that would have to be taken care of first, such as sentences, you can’t sentence a dead man to life in prison, can you? Plus we’d have to do something about monitoring the released ghosts until they get back in their graves, you can’t just let ghosts go without an ankle monitor… or would that be a spirit monitor? Maybe for drunk ghosts… hmm.

As I say, there are lots of questions that need answering before I believe it’s safe to have tombstones monitored for anything besides theft. Plus we do need to answer the question of what these people do with these stolen tombstones, that still bothers me!

Thanks for reading and if you have any idea what you’d do with a stolen tombstone, please tell me in the comments below!

Martian press release

The following is a press release from MNN (Martian News Network) for all Martians to hear and obey by writ of the King.

 

“Humans are getting ready to send yet another craft to our planet. While in the past there have been those who have been worried and wish to launch a preemptive strike again our neighboring planet, our scientists wish to assure the populace that there is no danger from the craft that will be heading to our planet in the coming months, Chief Scientist Goblata had this to say:”

“In the past we have worried about the human crafts that have attempted to land on our planet. We managed to shoot several of them down in the past, others we allowed to land where we wanted them to in our deserts where they could not detect anything of importance.

The flight path of this craft that will be heading our way in the coming months has been analyzed. If it does arrive in orbit of our planet, we have our top hackers ready to hack into it and send back the data we decide to send. We have done this with the past several probes that have landed and those that have orbited our planet.

We are several thousand years more advanced than our planetary neighbors and will not have any trouble disrupting their computer systems for the foreseeable future.”

“To recap, we will hack into the human computers and manipulate the data that they receive back from their craft. Calm is urged until our invasion fleet is ready to wipe out the human defenses and enslave them.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to this message from MNN!”

 

Martian New Briefs

Somewhere on Mars:

“These are the system wide new briefs for tonight:

Earth once again takes precedence in our coverage, starting with the announcement that a nation on Earth is celebrating a new heir to their throne. The Emperor released this statement following the news:

We offer our respect to the nation of Briton, Earth. We also wish to make an alliance. If you will shoot down any new attack probes sent at our planet, we shall in turn send you a thousand troops to conquer the rest of your planet.

Our analyst has the official point of view on this statement:

The Emperor only made this offer as we have grown tired of hacking into the attack probes that land and forcing them to broadcast fake scenes. We have attempted to take a reading on Humans intelligence, however they have missed the invasion fleet hidden in most of the pictures we inserted into their probes. Only in a few pictures have they even spotted other signs of our civilization that we provided to entice them.

Now as to what this ‘birth’ means to humankind, according the palace’s chief cloner:

We don’t really know what this term ‘birth’ means, however in ancient tombs we have seen references to it. It seems that it refers to a primitive reproductive process. We no longer known exactly what it means as we have cloned the entire population on Mars for over ten thousand years. We are delving deeper into the matter, but we don’t expect anything to change as of now. Perhaps in a few thousand years we will have more information.

Other news coming up right after this break.”

 Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this!

System wide news briefs for 7-12-2013

Now it’s time for the system wide new alerts in five minutes, covering the whole solar system!

 

Planet Venus has suffered massive floods due to strange weather. Many Venusians have died, the survival of their race is in doubt if things don’t change soon.

 

Our reporter on Mars reports that the Martians have declared war on every populated planet in the system,. This could have long-lasting repercussions… if Mars can access their warships, which were accidentally locked into their bays two hundred years ago. The key to unlocking those ships was lost when the Martian who locked them up was killed.

 

Saturn is seeing normal weather with no change in the foreseeable future.

 

Jupiter is under attack by a swarm of alien ships from another system. At this time the aliens are already succumbing to Jupiter’s radiation, they are not expected to be a threat to any other planet.

 

And lastly: Earth is having the most troubles, as normal.

Parts of Earth are at war or just steps away from war.

Other parts of Earth are seeing heavy fires along with heavy floods.

Still other parts of Earth are seeing humans rioting over other riots. We fear that things will get worse, perhaps even riots spawning riots about the riots that started the riots.

Humans on Earth are also arguing about anything and everything.

Human flying ships are catching on fire, causes not yet determined. Updates when we hear more.

Humans are also competing against horned beast in an ancient racing game, the reasons behind this ritual is still unknown.

 

BREAKING NEWS!

Pluto is celebrating two hundred years of peace by giving out ray guns, humans suspected of being behind the program, more news as we get it.

 

Now we return you to your normal program: When Humans attack.

What does Mars think of the major news stories?

Just assume for a moment that there is life on Mars, also lets assume that they are human-like beings that think and act like us, roughly at least. Just to make it a bit more believable, we’ll say that they live underground in cities that they built eons ago.

With those ideas firmly planted in your mind, let commence with some of the major news stories:

 

Edward Snowden- I can believe that in underground cities almost everything is recorded and analyzed for any sign of unrest, after all  in such a society, you’d have to make sure everyone thinks that same to keep it stable. They most likely don’t understand why its a big deal.

 

Egypt- Martians must be laughing over how a country on Earth is so unstable. I wouldn’t be surprised if they just believed that the celebrations and riots are just because of sport games… unless they think what’s going on is a game.

 

Forest fires- This is most likely what every Martian watched with fascination, they don’t have forests, so they have never seen fires like this. They must see water drops as wasteful (living with a limited water supply as they are).

 

Stock markets- The Martians undoubtedly watch out stock market with concern, seeing as how their own stock market is oddly connected with ours. The last stock crash a few years ago resulted in several sectors being turned into tent camps as the Martians who lived there were forced out of their living units after defaulting on loans.

 

I also assume that the Martian authorities have troops standing by to take out the rovers on the surface of Mars at a moments notice. Such an event might just be enough to keep their own economy running smoothly, after all they never know when we’ll decide to launch an attack against them. NASA could call it science, after all, we nearly nuked our own moon during the cold war.

 

Thanks for coming with me on this journey into the mind of Martians, I enjoyed it and I hope you did as well. Comments are welcome.