It’s Friday night, what’s more it’s the last Friday in May, which means it’s the fourth and last time we’re redoing Gone With the Wind.
We’ve remade it as a storm chasing movie, a future apocalyptic movie and a sci fi epic, this week we’re going to do a period piece… but it’s not going to be a direct remake.
Let’s get started.
The basics of the plot we need to remember for our remake:
1: The main actress is named Scarlet and her romantic counter in Rhett Butler.
2: The one phrase Scarlet says that everyone remembers is in the scene where she is standing on a hill saying “As god is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
3: Rhett’s most memorable phrase is “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
4: Civil War.
Due to how we’re going to redo the movie, we won’t be able to destroy Alanta, however I believe we can find another city to destroy to please viewers.
Set in revolutionary France, we find our heroine, Marie ‘Scarlet’ , being romanced by the Marque Rhett de Butler.
Scarlet is a peasant, of course, while Rhett is an aristocrat, so we have the knowledge that nothing good can come from this relationship, this is reinforced when Scarlet is introduced to the French queen, Marie Antoinette, who keeps talking about cake every time she’s seen.
There should be some filler scenes added next, say horse riding, hunting, ect.
For dramatic purposes we should have Rhett married to someone besides Scarlet, it also sets up the next part of the movie.
Now we come to the revolution, starting with the storming of the Bastille, where Scarlet’s brother and father are being held.
We see the battle, including Scarlet being injured, either by a sword or being shot, the added blood gives the viewers something to worry about.
The scene zooms in on a delirious Scarlet, who mutters “As god is my witness, I’ll never eat cake again!” before blacking out.
We then see the nobles being captured and killed (note: if you want to add horror movie amounts of gore you can show the guillotine at work… Remember that the fake blood companies need to stay in business).
After Scarlet recovers, she discovers Rhett hiding, he begs her to keep his presence a secret and to help him escape, she agrees when he offers to take her to England and marry her (his wife died by guillotine he tells her).
With Rhett’s escape comes an opportunity for action, we should have a runaway carriage, the driver killed by an arrow, a daring attempt by Rhett to bring it to a stop (it doesn’t matter if he secedes or not, just so he and Scarlet both live through it), a sword fight between Napoleonic troops and Rhett, even Rhett running through gunfire (he’d escape without a scratch, of course.), finishing with Rhett swimming the English Channel.
Right before Rhett makes good his escape (leaving Scarlet on the shore), he has a scene with Scarlet: she begs Rhett to take her with him, he kisses her tenderly, than says “I only needed you to get the guards, my wife is in London.”
Scarlet says something along the lines of “What am I to do? You’ve ruined me!”
Rhett gives his famous,”Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” line right before jumping into the English Channel just in time to escape the guards chasing him.
This is a good chance to take a change of viewpoint, we can show scenes of Napoleon conquering parts of Europe, this is where we have cities burning, true they aren’t Atlanta but this is the best we can do.
Next we see Waterloo, the defeat and retreat of Napoleon and his army.
We begin to end our movie seeing the triumphant allied armies marching into France to restore the French monarchy.
Rhett enters Paris in the wake of the army, Scarlet is waiting for him at his former residence, she confronts him and fatally shoots him. As he lays there, dying, he asks her why. Scarlet laughs hysterically and shouts “Frankly, Rhett my dear, I don’t give a damn anymore!
Fade to black.
I hope you’ve enjoyed seeing four ways to remake Gone With the Wind, I’ve enjoyed writing them, however frankly my dear readers, I don’t think there’s a damn way we could do a fifth remake.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to add your thoughts. I hope you got a chuckle or two from this.