I’m back!

After a few weeks away, I, Colin, have returned to start blogging again.

While I hadn’t expected to have Wild Buffalo Betty and Agent 028 blog while I was gone, I see it went pretty smoothly… aside from them hitting save as draft instead of publish a few time this week.

As Wild Buffalo Betty reported, I’ve agreed to let her and Agent 028 do a few more posts this month, I’ve seen the ones that they have ready to go and I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I have, I’m looking forward to seeing what else they come up with next week.

Now this wouldn’t be much of a post from me without a few jokes, so here we go!

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What did one bar of soap say to the other?

Don’t lye to me!

What does soap do on a lazy day?

It lyes around.

What did the police detective tell the bar of soap?

I know when you lye.

Why couldn’t the detective catch the soap?

It was too slippery.

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Well that’s it for tonight, I hope you got a chuckle out of the jokes, I’d be lying if I said they were my best.

Thanks for reading!

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Sit right back…

Sit right back and you’ll hear a tail, a tail of a fitful nap.

It started from this sunny chair, aboard this comfy lap.

The cat was a mighty sleeping cat,

The cat was brave and sure,

The cat dozed off that day,

For a three hour nap,

A three hour nap…

Well the weather started getting cloudy,

The comfy lap was lost,

If not for the courage of the sleeping cat,

The nap would have been lost..

The nap would have been lost…

The cat dozed off again on the couch,

With dreams of mice and toys.

With catnip,

Lots of food,

An itchy ear,

And a twitching tail,

All there on the couch.

So this is the tail of our sleeping cat,

He’s here for a long, long time,

He’ll make the best of naps,

It’s a cat nap.

No phone, no lights, no car horns,

It’s peaceful and serene,

Like Rip van Wrinkle, it’s as sleepy as can be.

So join me here each day, Wild Buffalo Betty,

You’ll be sure to get a nap,

With Agent 028, asleep on the couch.

Oh we’re off…

Oh we’re off to smell the catnip! The wonderful, wonderful, wonderful catnip of mine!

We sniff it for it is a whiz of a nip,

Oh if ever a nip there was this is it!

Because, because, because because,

oh because of the wonderful things it does!

Oh we’re off to smell the catnip! The wonderful catnip of mine!

The tail of Wild Buffalo Betty

Ah’m just a poor kitty, looking for catnip. This is mah story:

Ah were born on the range… the open range, not a cookin’ range. Ah was raised beside cows and horses, broke mah first horse at six weeks and ah’ve ain’t never looked back.

Six months ago, a mean ole gunfighter killed mah pa, so Ah strapped on this here six gun and ah’ve been searchin’ for the outlaw ever since.

Ah’ve had lots ‘o adventures, riding herd with John Wayne, getting into gun fights with James Stewart. Leading a wagon train across country from St. Louis to San Francisco, even laying on top of a stagecoach with my rifle shooting desperadoes who wanted the strong box!

Ah’ll never forget Bullrun either… ah was hanging onto that bull with all mah claws, ah don’t think he liked that.

Now Ah’m no closer to finding that outlaw who killed mah pa, but ah’ve got a standing invitation to join Colonel Cody’s show.

Now if’en ah could just find a bit o’ catnip ah can relax tonight…

Wild Buffalo Betty cooks again!

Hi y’all, it’s me, Wild Buffalo Betty, tonight ah’m a goin’ to show you the best topping for a hotdog… no, not that kind of dog! A beautiful, or whatever kind o’ sausage you are gonna eat.
First, take a large glop o’ sour cream, I just love sour cream! Put it in a bowl and eat it… er, I mean… a nice large bowl where you can mix something else into it, or if you want to make a large batch, just mix it in the container itself.

 Next, add a lot of catnip! Oh, catnip! My favorite thing!

 Now mix the two together until the our cream looks greenish in color, yes you need that much, more if possible. 

 Next,  this is the hardest part! Let it sit for at least an hour, over night is better, but I don’t think anyone would have that much will power! I never have any left over for the next day myself, although, Colin doesn’t let me make a very large batch.

  

There you have it, the absolute best recipe ah’ve ever found! Enjoy!

Sit down and…

It’s me, Agent 028… I didn’t really want to do this, but Wild Buffalo Betty insisted, she said if I refused to do at least one post on this blog while Colin is away, she’d steal all my catnip and my blanket!

So I’m going to tell you a quick tail…

Sit down and I’ll tell you a tail, a tail of a cat named Tom, a poor wild cat just trying to find catnip…

Tom was hunting one day, just trying to keep fed, when he pounced on a bird and struck oil, nasty stuff, it ruined his feast.

Well Tom was annoyed and he said to his kin, “I ain’t living here in an oil pit no more, California, that’s where I’m a going!”

So he took up his catnip and headed out, California bound he was, he had heard o’ a place where no oil was to be found, a woman called Beverly lived in those hills.

Now Tom is quite fit and he spends his days on the fiddle, hunting fast mice and rolling in catnip.

But whenever his kin showed up, he’d chase them right off, yowling “Don’t come back now, ya hear!”

Colin’s gone, cats run wild!

Hi y’all, Wild Buffalo Betty here. Colin is taking a break from blogging for a few days, he wanted me to tell you that there won’t be any posts until he gets back, but ah have a much better idea!

Agent 028 and I will be blogging instead! Isn’t that a great idea? Ah have so many ideas! Ah talked to Agent 028 and he has several ideas too! This next week is going to be fun! Nearly as much fun as chasing mice is!

Ah’ll be back tomorrow night with something fun!

Ask a cat, week thirty

Another week, another post with crazy answers by cats.
Tonight I have Agent 028 here answering questions. Hopefully he’ll have some good answers to my questions tonight.

Thanks for joining me tonight, Agent 028!
It wasn’t my idea, but between Wild Buffalo Betty and my bosses who think these posts are good publicity, I had no choice.

First off, have you had any interesting adventures this past week?
I did, several in fact, but I can’t tell you about them, they have been classified top secret. I can tell you about the twelve hours I spent staring under the cupboard if you’d like.

That’s okay, Agent 028, I wouldn’t want you to give up any trade secrets. I was wondering if you could tell me who catches more mice, you or Wild Buffalo Betty?
Well… that’s an interesting question. I could catch more, but since I’m so busy saving the world… er, you know I meant sleeping there. Anyway, I let Wild Buffalo Betty catch most of them since she raises them.

I’ve heard of Betty’s hobby, as have most people reading this post. Tell me, if ranching mice is such a great hobby like Betty claims, why didn’t you get involved in it?
Me? Raise mice? I like to catch them and play with them, I wouldn’t be seen on a mouse ranch!

Moving on from mice… what do you think about the political situation?
I think it means I’ll be very busy… er… sleeping. Yes, that’s it! I’m tired of it!

I think most people are tired of hearing about nothing but politics. What would you like to discuss next?
Um… I guess I’ll have to act like Wild Buffalo Betty here and say… catnip!

Ah yes, the go to topic for cats! Do you prefer your catnip fresh or dried?
It comes fresh? I think I’ll stay with dried, it sounds easier to roll in.

Do you prefer catnip mice or just a pile of catnip?
As Wild Buffalo Betty would say: Both! Now!

I shouldn’t have started talking about catnip before I was ready to end this post, huh?
There is no better time to have catnip. Seize the day, seize the catnip, or so I always say!

Okay! Okay! Before we go, do you have anything else to say to the readers tonight?
I do, actually… never let yourself get dragged into answering questions unless you know you can get catnip out of it. Goodnight everyone! Come back n, Colin! Let’s go!

That’s our post for tonight… just a moment, Agent 028! If you want a cat to answer a question of your choosing, leave it in the comments! Thanks for reading!