Oh we’re off…

Oh we’re off to smell the catnip! The wonderful, wonderful, wonderful catnip of mine!

We sniff it for it is a whiz of a nip,

Oh if ever a nip there was this is it!

Because, because, because because,

oh because of the wonderful things it does!

Oh we’re off to smell the catnip! The wonderful catnip of mine!

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Jokes for June 1st (by Wild Buffalo Betty)

Hi y’all, Wild Buffalo Betty here. if’en y’all remember, last night Coiln promised Ah could tell some jokes tonight, he tried to back out, at least partly, he suggested we do more of those knock knock jokes… unfortunately he’s a bit tied up right now, Ah showed him how ah’d rope cattle, with any luck he won’t get free from the yarn until I finish my jokes.

 

What’s black and white and purrs?

 Me of course!

 

What can’t Agent 028 tell any secrets?

Because he’s got a cat tongue…. of is that supposed to be he got his tongue? I can never remember…

 

Why is a cat like a bard?

They both like a good yarn.

 

Why is a cat like a weaver?

They both like yarn.

 

How many cats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, we can see fine in the dark.

 

What flavor ice cream do cats like?

Catnip.

 

When do cats let mice go free?

Never, we always charge them.

 

What credit card do mice carry?

Mouse-ercard.

 

How does a feline order gifts?

From a catalog!

 

How does a cat find catnip in a jung…. oh dang, Colin’s almost free!

 Goodnight everyone, ah hope y’all enjoyed these jokes! Now move ‘me up and move ‘me out, pilgrim, yee Ha!

A cat’s thoughts, week 7

Thanks for joining us again this week. Last week we talked with Wild Buffalo Betty, this week our normal cat is back. Without any questions being asked in the comments, we’ll just have to see what happens.

 

Thanks for being available this week. I hope you didn’t mind giving up last week so Wild Buffalo Betty could answer a few questions.

Not at all, I’m always glad to share the spotlight… I’m not as keen to share food or catnip though.

  

I hear you have quite a sense of humor.

 I sure do… I even have a rubber duck, but I forget where I left it.

 

What do you think about the current political situation?

I think it’s a cat-astrophe!

 

Very funny, like I told Wild Betty last week, I’m the one who makes the jokes around here.

Anything you say… haha.

 

Did you hear the the New York Times Crossword is 75 years old?

Really? That’s puzzling.

 

Cut it out! You aren’t supposed to be making any jokes.

Why not? I’m s not like you’re being funny.

 

This isn’t a joke post.

You could have fooled me, I thought all your posts were jokes.

 

… and that’ll do it for tonight. Next week we’ll have Wild Buffalo Betty back… I hope.

Hey! Don’t I get to give a few final thoughts to these great people reading this?

 

Sure, go ahead…

Thanks you, ladies and gentlemen, I just chased a mouse and boy are my paws tired! No, seriously, I almost had that mouse, but Wild Buffalo Betty got in my way. Yesterday I saw… hey! I’m not done yet!

 

 Yes you are. Thanks for reading, folks!

A test for cats

If you spy a ball of yarn, what do you do?

1: Ignore it, you’ve got better things to do.
2: Bat it around out of boredom.
3: Knock it under a human’s feet to get ther attention to feed you.
4: Play with it wildly to ensure you look cute enough to get more food and a treat.
5: Any of the above.

Correct answer: 5.

You are offered either food or catnip, which do you choose?

1: Catnip.
2: Food.
3: Finagle your way into both.

Correct answer: 3

A human is coming near, do you:

1: Poke around as if hunting to get more food.
2: Run up against them to get catnip.
3: Run underfoot, trip the human and make them feel uilty enough to give you food, catnip and a treat.
4: Any or all of the above.

Correct answer: 4

You’ve just eaten a nice meal, you’re ready to settle in for a nap but you find a human in your preferred spot, do you:

1: Find another place to sleep.
2: Wake the human by knocking something over.
3: Shove the foolish human out of the way and show them who owns that spot.

Correct answer: 3.

You see a fly hovering around the highest self in the room, what do you do?

1: Ignore it, there will be others.
2: Stare at it as you slowly assert your will over it and sraw it to you.
3: Meow loudly until human bats it toward the floor.
4: Find a route that will knock over the most objects.
5: Any of the above.

Correct answer: 6.
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Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed this. Feel free to add your own in the comments!