Jokes for September 17th

I’m taking a bit of a break from my blog this week, but I couldn’t keep from posting a few jokes. These might be mostly old ones, but I still like them.

Remember this joke:

A city slicker was visiting a farm, he asked the farmer how things were growing,the farmer said everything was coming up roses. The city slicker congratulated the farmer, to which the farmer said “Thing is, I planted beets.”

It’s harvest time now, so I came up with this:

A city slicker visited a farm n mid-september, he got to talking with the farmer and inquired about the crop.
“I’m having a bumper crop this year,” the farmer replied.
“Glad to hear it, Think next year will be as good?”
“I hope not!” The farmer exclaimed, “What am I going to do with all these dang bumpers?”

Or do you think this one is better?

A man drove nearly two hundred miles looking for a junkyard that was said to have the last part he needed to finish his 1926 motorcycle. After searching for the junk yard for hour, he spied a farmer and stopped to ask where the junkyard was. He got to talking to the farmer who commented that he was having a bumper crop that year.
When the man asked about the junkyard, the farmer replied “This used to be that junkyard until I bought it last year. Why do you think I’m digging up so many danged bumpers?”

I still like these jokes as well:

A paranoid rich man died, he left instructions that only a laughing ghost talker could manage to tell his heirs where his will was. After several months of searching, the courts reluctantly admitted that they couldn’t find a happy medium.

What did people call the wannabe actor who was fired from a peach preserve factory?
A canned ham!

John loved cucumbers until the day he woke up in a vat of salt and vinegar and exclaimed “I’m pickled!”

Jack went to a taco joint south of the border for Lunch, after he had eaten he noticed a rabbi, a cardinal and a cleric making something together behind the counter, curious he asked the proprietor, Jose.
Jose opened his mouth to reply, but a ninja fell from the ceiling, pressed a dirk to Jose’s throat and asked what he wanted on his tombstone.
Being a person who always answered any questions asked him, and knowing that he had only one more chance to speak before he died, answered both questions at one by saying “Holy guacamole!”
Jose was astounded when the ninja laughed, handed him an avocado pizza and left peacefully.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these jokes. I’ll be back coming up with lots of jokes next week.
Thanks for reading!